Last night was Samhain, the Witches New Year. That in mind, I thought it would be a good time to go over the changes in my life.

I've been in a pretty horrid depression for a while now. I'm starting to come out of it now. After some (I still think unnecessarily harsh) words from a couple of good friends of mine, I decided that I had to do SOMETHING, so I decided to start taking back control of my life. I started with, of all things, Practical Lunacy, because it just seemed like the easiest thing and because since that's my stress relief, if that was better, surely other things would get better. So I started doing the show three nights a week; I revamped the opening theme and parts of the website. Once that went well I felt alot better. Odd the effect a simple hobby can have. I actually felt empowered. I talked to my boss at work and let them know that I wanted things straightened out so that I could get my yearly review because I frankly deserve it, and after they verified some facts, I have now been told that I will be getting my yearly review ASAP. This would never have happened if I didn't asert myself for it, which I never would have done had I not taken back my radio show, which I never would have done (until I completely snapped) had Justin not sent me a harsh note and had Friday (my internet pal) not walked out on me. Domino effects are funny.

Other changes I have made include: getting myself a new bank account (yay!), telling my mother-in-law off and the fight that followed (yeah, I know that doesn't necessarily SOUND positive, but it was), and having the realization that I can't change the world, only my reaction to it. Now, that's not to say that I don't still complain about shit when I'm sitting around bullshitting with my husband, but I know that if I want to change things, I have to do something instead of sitting around and waiting for the world to do it for me because I feel it's owed to me. Granted, I still think things are owed to me, but that's another issue.

I've also started hanging out with Kerri again, which is cool. She is one of my oldest friends. I've known her for about 20 years. And I even made a new friend OUTSIDE OF WORK! Her name is Nicole and she's a friend of Kerri's and she is awesome!

I'm not saying I'm all better, because I'm really not. I'm still scared of Victor (even if he IS not anywhere near here), but I have learned that it's not something that I can "get over" as so many people keep telling me to do, but something that I have to work through.

So take from this what you will, but I feel better, and I feel healthier.